Kedma Ough on Building Resilience- How to Turn a Fail into a Learning Experience -1

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Melody [: 00:00:00

Hello, My Misfit. I'm really excited to speak to Kedma Ough, a nationally recognized business funding expert, best selling author, 5th generation entrepreneur, mentor to thousands of entrepreneurs, an expert in helping startups. She helps inventors, she's a speaker, she's a leader, she's a coach. And most important to me, she was my first ever female coach, mentor, and now very close friend. I'm very honored to have her on today. And I wanna tell you a story about what makes our connection so unique. Kedma grew up in New York, but has lived in Oregon for probably 20 years, at least, I believe. I grew up in Massachusetts and I've traveled a lot, but I have lived here.

Melody [: 00:00:47

A couple of years ago, maybe 3 years ago or 4 years ago, she posted a picture of a woman on her Facebook page. And this is after we'd been coaching with each other for a couple of years already. And she said, remembering my sister today, and I looked at that picture. And I messaged her on Facebook and I said, Is that Felicia? And she said, How do you know Felicia? And I drove down the street about 5 minutes away to the cemetery and took a video at Felicia's grave. Felicia died of breast cancer. It's been a long time now, maybe 20 years, maybe it might be more. And Felicia was a friend that I had when I worked at a theater company as a nanny, I got to know her she was like, joy. She was all joy.

Melody [: 00:01:39

She was all life and spark and energy. And she was also Kedma's half sister. I never knew this, we had no reason to be connected to each other in any way on that level. I have been deeply entrenched in her family lore ever since. It's crazy to me that I could be friends with her sister so long ago, and then be drawn to work with Kedma decades later. The world is mystery. It's mystery and magic, and I can't explain it. Nor can she but I'm really grateful that I found out and that I know that about our story.

Melody [: 00:02:18

So without further ado, I'm really excited for you to hear my conversation with KEDMA. It goes deep. We are both different kinds of misfits, and I hope that you can hear yourself in both of us. Hello, business human. Are you a misfit? A person who wants to make a difference in this business world? Are you one of the unconventional? The vision areas? The quiet innovators? The heart centered leaders? The purpose driven? The community builders? The givers? Then you are my people. I used to think business was a secret formula to be discovered and followed. But now I know it isn't a set of rules. It's an exciting creative adventure and I wanna be on that adventure with you.

Melody [: 00:03:08

I am your lady of business, Melody Edwards. Welcome to the Business Misfits podcast. Oh, hello, Kedma Ough. How are you today?

Kedma Ough [: 00:03:21

You know, I'm always great. Thanks for asking.

Melody [: 00:03:23

I know. I'm so excited to actually be talking to you, which I talk to all the time, but because you're my first female business mentor, and you changed my life. And I always tell you that. But to be able to talk to you on this podcast is, like, such a gift. So thank you.

Kedma Ough [: 00:03:43

Thank you.

Melody [: 00:03:44

So let's just talk a little bit about how we met first. Tell me how you got into the conquer coaching group that I ended up in.

Kedma Ough [: 00:03:52

Yeah. Sure. The conquer coaching group was the program was a vision by a gentleman named Brandon Vaughn, and I met Brandon back in, like, 2014 when he had walked into the college. I was actually, at the time, the innovation state director helping businesses grow in our community. And he walked in. He only had 2 employees. He had just bought purchased his window cleaning business from his dad, and he was all over the place. Like, what do I do? You know, I just got this from his my dad.

Kedma Ough [: 00:04:28

And that was the beginning of a pretty amazing relationship. So we worked together for a number of years, and I was privileged to watch him grow. And he eventually sold that company and turned around. And right around 2019, said, I wanna start a program where we can code specifically home service businesses around the country because he felt that there was a need and I agreed, and I'm gonna call it conquer. And he asked me essentially to leave the government and go work with him, and that's how our journey began.

Melody [: 00:05:04

Very cool. And that's how I met you because in 2019, I was a home service business owner, one of the unicorns women who owns a, you know, home service company. And I'd never ever had a female mentor, coach, anything. So I was always chasing after the guys, learning from them, but their lives are so different than my life was. And so I didn't even have to give it a second thought when I saw that you were coming on board. I was like, there's a lady. I need to I need I need her. And I didn't even know at the time, I was sure because you had to apply that you wouldn't accept me because I wasn't good enough, I felt like, which is, like, pretty much the work of the coaching you did with me, I think, through that whole time was just building Melody's.

Melody [: 00:05:54

What was the work of building Melody?

Kedma Ough [: 00:05:57

Well, there was a moment in time, so anybody who's coached with me knows that I tend to have a very direct approach, and I wanna get through things fast. And I can be considered tough because of that because I care in a loving way. And there was a moment where Melody came and said, you know, I don't get it. I've been interviewing other people who coach with you, and they all say you're really tough with them, like super hard. And you're just so soft with me. You're so easy with me.

Melody [: 00:06:25

Like, don't you care about me? Why aren't you mean to me? Care about me? Yeah. Why aren't you mean to me?

Kedma Ough [: 00:06:28

And I remember that moment so vividly because I turned around and I looked at Melody and I said, you know, I may be tough on on people. However, when I meet someone who is so hard on themselves, why would I kick them when they're already on the ground? And what I meant by that is the metaphor is, I don't need to push you to a place of feeling that you're not good enough because you do that to yourself every day. My job is to actually change that conversation and introduce that you are you're a business goddess and that you should really be comfortable, you know, walking that path.

Melody [: 00:07:09

Yeah. That's crazy because you're impatient for change but with me, you cannot be impatient because I have taken so long. It has taken years for me to reach where I am today, And you've been just so patient with me. I feel like where I was back then, it never ever occurred to me. And I think so many women can relate to this, that we are so hard on ourselves, and we assume everybody is just like that. And that you're the first person because I trusted you, worked with 100 of people. Oh, no. You're hard on yourself enough, Melody.

Melody [: 00:07:47

Like, for me, I think a lot of people who are hard on themselves, they want somebody who's gonna be pushing them hard, being all that tough love. I hear people say that all the time. It's actually the opposite of what we need. We need compassion and empathy, and we need to be told to stop being so hard on ourselves.

Kedma Ough [: 00:08:06

Well and I wanna just look at our society and look at the animals we celebrate. We celebrate the lion. We celebrate the eagle. Right? We celebrate large animals or fierce animals, and we consider that something to emulate. But I'm gonna tell you the analogy that I speak with and I'm gonna show it to you, but I resonate because I have turtle energy. What you're seeing here is one of my turtles. So behind the screen, I have tons of turtles that surround me, and the turtles never get celebrated. But if we go back to the fable between the turtle and the hare, it is the turtle that won.

Kedma Ough [: 00:08:43

So I am very clear that as long as you're going in the right direction, then I'm okay with that and I wanna pause and tell you there's a statement I say all the time in business. I would rather that you plant a small seed on the right path than harvest a garden on the wrong path. And I meet a lot of people that have gardens and they're miserable.

Melody [: 00:09:08

Yeah. It's so interesting because I definitely where I'm at right now is so different than where I was right when I started. And it's you know, I've always had a gut feeling that I wanted to do something bigger. In Conquers, where I discovered that I'm very purpose driven, so we've really worked on my money mindset. And what I love about you is you you love money, and you're not afraid to say it. You also wear capes, and you don't care what people think except for the people who are close to you. So that to me is such a model that you just are uniquely Kedma. And, you know, I have definitely become more and more uniquely myself.

Melody [: 00:09:46

And going back to what you said about the turtle and the hare, what I say is that every day I move an inch forward, it feels like. What I found is that when I go to an event, like when we used to do Conquer Summit or this week I was at something called Camp Clockwork, I will move forward a mile. I'll have some experience, whether it's like being with people who are like me, it moves me forward a mile. So every day, we just have to keep pushing forward a little bit. But being in the right community of people and taking that time, it just makes all the difference.

Kedma Ough [: 00:10:18

And to your point, if you focused on 1% improvement every day, which we we talk about, that's 365% improvement.

Melody [: 00:10:26

Yeah. Which probably is math. You could figure out even more improvement from that, but I can't do the math. So I was gonna ask you, first of all, do you think that you're a business misfit?

Kedma Ough [: 00:10:39

I totally am. I am so quirky. Yes. So and everything I say, I like to back with evidence. My husband thinks he's married to a he's not sure if it's a judge or a lawyer or a potential assassin, but one of those fits who I am. I was recently asked to go to jury duty to be selected, and, you know, if you've had that experience, you know it could be a little bit challenging. But what was very interesting is the questions they asked, they ultimately both parties decided they weren't gonna choose me because they couldn't figure me out.

Melody [: 00:11:13

Right. Yeah. That's how I think about you.

Kedma Ough [: 00:11:16

That's a misfit. I think one one of the questions was, do you like the prosecutors? And everyone's sure every juror said no. And I was like, I love prosecutors, and I love defense attorneys, but judges, they just they're my favorite.

Melody [: 00:11:30

That's how you get out of jury duty.

Kedma Ough [: 00:11:32

And that's how you get out of jury duty.

Melody [: 00:11:35

That's so funny. You're definitely a misfit in just you carry yourself with such confidence. And you I mean, I keep saying you're uniquely Kedma. But it's like all of us misfits. A lot of us struggle with being us being ourselves, being authentically Melody or because that's not what the business world wants to see, we think, right? And it's actually the opposite. It's what it needs.

Kedma Ough [: 00:12:04

And to your point, stay true to you. 1 of the people I work with daily said something really, interesting a few months ago. He said, I don't understand it. I have 1800 people that report to me and do what I say, and then I have KEDMA.

Melody [: 00:12:19

Yeah.

Kedma Ough [: 00:12:19

I go, well, I call that innovation. Yeah.

Melody [: 00:12:24

So tell me why you wear capes.

Kedma Ough [: 00:12:27

Yeah. And I'm wearing one of my capes right now. They're all my initial k. If you follow the storyline around really what you may perceive as really successful people, you'll come to find out that their life usually is balanced with tragedy or trauma. What's really hard to see is, like, you see this gorgeous flower or you see this beautiful rose, and you don't realize all the thorns that it took to really get to where they are. For me, I wear the cape because it's a signature for the life I had to endure and eventually escape, but also to be a reminder for everyone that if you're sitting at home or you're watching this late at night or you're just picking this up and saying, you know what? What else can I learn? The biggest lesson I learned is we often want someone to come save us. And what if nobody's coming? And so I think that there's a beautiful blessing in revisiting that story and saying, well, I get to save myself.

Melody [: 00:13:31

I've definitely learned that. As you know, I love getting validation from all the people everywhere about my ideas, about the things that my gut tells me I should be doing that I'm not following because, you know, it's just people can definitely resonate with that of the imposter syndrome. Do you ever experience imposter syndrome? I feel like

Kedma Ough [: 00:13:53

Only when I'm cooking.

Melody [: 00:13:55

Okay. Well

Kedma Ough [: 00:13:57

I don't ever experience imposter syndrome because I only stay in the lane that I'm really knowledgeable in. But you put me in the lane I don't know, then I will admit it. I'm not good with cooking and I'm not good with trying to figure out malware for my websites. I know where my genius zone is, but what I also know is I will quickly bring in the experts so that I can navigate that. And so for anybody who's suffering with imposter syndrome, the quickest way to get out of that is to check yourself and say, do you have knowledge in this area? And secondly, do you have experience, not just knowledge, you have experience in that area. And then 3rd, do you have social proof? Because you can have the knowledge, but if you don't have the experience, then it's gonna be really hard. And if you have the knowledge and experience, you don't have social proof. People don't trust that.

Kedma Ough [: 00:14:51

Nobody wants to be the first person.

Melody [: 00:14:53

Yeah.

Kedma Ough [: 00:14:54

Right? I walked it when I was pregnant. I walked in to get my blood work and I always ask the woman who takes my blood. It's typically a woman. I always say, this is your first time doing this? And one of those moments, this person said, yes. I said, I'm sorry. I will not have you drink my blood. Yeah. I don't wanna be your first.

Melody [: 00:15:13

No. Social proof. Yeah. That's true. And it's hard because people who have imposter syndrome, like I'm a giver, as we all know, a lot of givers in this world, we give and give. We don't ask for things. Even social proof sometimes is asking for something from people. And so I really encourage people to do that.

Melody [: 00:15:34

I mean, I don't even remember to ask people for video testimonials or things once I've helped them, and that's something I've had to, like, really work on. But for me to make the biggest impact in this world, I have to be able to show who I am, be confident, show the things that I've done for people. It's simple, but not easy.

Kedma Ough [: 00:15:56

Yeah. And I think most people don't want to come from they wanna stay humble.

Melody [: 00:16:01

Yes. It's so hard to not when you've been raised to be humble and modest, it's very hard to push yourself forward. I always say, like, I've always struggled with wanting to be seen and heard, and also I wanna hide and be invisible.

Kedma Ough [: 00:16:16

But if you're gonna be invisible, then you're gonna be one of the women in history we never get to learn about. Anybody in history that was a powerful woman was not invisible. Yes. Harriet Tubman was not invisible. Rosa Parks was not invisible. If you had been on that bus, would you have been like, well, let me just go sit she stood up.

Melody [: 00:16:37

Yeah. And I get that. But this year, I've had a lot of change. I think just shifting from where I was before because I was in home service for 28 years. And now I'm only in the virtual assistant agency world. And so it's really pushed me in a different direction that I wanted to go in anyway.

Kedma Ough [: 00:16:55

And thanks to you. We have 2 VAs that have been with us, and they're fabulous.

Melody [: 00:16:59

Oh, thank you, Kedma. We try. So let's switch gears. I wanna know about the timeline of your life.

Kedma Ough [: 00:17:17

And why is that important?

Melody [: 00:17:19

It's important because I think that we all have things that happened in our life that we could have either been broken by, or, you know, we could have ended up in a different place than we've and it's helped us to get where we are today. It's helped for us to become the people that we are. So tell me about the year 1988.

Kedma Ough [: 00:17:39

1988, very tough year. 18, I was just turning 19. I was in New York. I was trying to better my life, and I was very broken to your point. And I share this story, but it the story doesn't get any doesn't ever feel better even if I've shared it before. But I was sitting in a classroom. It was a community college just trying to better my life. It was winter time.

Kedma Ough [: 00:18:02

If you've been in New York, it's very cold, January, February time frame, and got a 911 page from my therapist, 911, 911, 911. I picked up my books, ran out of the college right into the freezing cold air. We did not have cell phones. I went to the pay phone, put my money in, and I called my therapist, Judy, and said, why did you page me? And she said some words I'll never forget. She said, you need to listen to me very carefully. I don't know how he got this number. He is on the way to the college, and if he finds you, he's going to kill you. And she was referring to my villain, my abuser.

Kedma Ough [: 00:18:40

And, it's a very frightening moment where you're in a life and death situation. And I hang up the phone and I go back to the parking lot and I'm already too late. He is in his vehicle, he is pacing back and forth white vehicle, lane by lane, hunting me down, and I go into shock. I literally can't breathe. My legs feel like quicksand and I remember this voice in my head saying run, but I knew I couldn't run. And literally in a split second, I just got on my hands and knees right on the concrete. I crawled, got to my car, I was able to open the door, take my books, crawled back to the pay phone, and that's where my life changed for our for Melody. So three things happened.

Kedma Ough [: 00:19:19

1, I couldn't go back to the home. So over a course of a weekend, a group of friends just stepped in and they found me a basement apartment in Huntington, New York. You have to go down 15 stairs. It was infested with cockroaches, and I would actually live there in hiding for 5 years, 5 years of my life. And the second thing that happened is I didn't have a job, of course. This everything got ripped out just immediately. And those same group of friends said we're gonna schedule an interview with you at the hospital with North Shore University Hospital. I walked into a collection department, and sitting there was this chain smoker, Patricia, short hair, brunette, and probably in her late forties, and I just sat down and I looked at her and said, Patricia, I'm in hiding right now and I need this job.

Kedma Ough [: 00:20:06

And she looked me right in the eyes and she goes, Kedma, we've already secured a position for you. We're gonna protect your identity. And then the third thing that happened was the person I was seeing said write a letter to the college and I did. And I wrote a letter to the college and I told them everything that had happened. And 2 weeks later, they said, Kepman, we want you to come and meet with us. So I go back to the scene of the crime which is very traumatic for me. I walk into a room of 15 strangers who had in a round table circle just read my life story And I just said I've lost everything. I've lost my home and my family, my identity and honestly, the only thing I have left to live for is possibly an opportunity for an education.

Kedma Ough [: 00:20:46

And so they said, please go to the secretary's office while we deliberate. And while they were deliberating, I went to the secretary's office and I asked for a piece of paper and pen and Melody, that is where my life changed forever. Because at that point, I want you to know if you are listening to this and you've been in a situation or you are in a situation that is so dire that you have nothing left, you'll roll the dice, you'll gamble everything including your own life and that's what happened. So in the letter, I decided to write it to God. I summarized it but I wrote that God, you've taken everything away from me. I have nothing left to offer the world. I have no gifts to share and no knowledge. So here's the deal.

Kedma Ough [: 00:21:31

I am going to ask you to create a miracle that allows me to learn to become someone. And if you could do that for me, God, I'll spend the rest of my life opening doors to every single person I meet. However, the negotiation did not just go with asking. The negotiation was, and if you cannot do that for me, God, I will accept that. And tonight, I will take my life. And I signed my name. So in the midst of all that, I chose myself as the last poker chip. That's how all in I was.

Kedma Ough [: 00:22:03

2 hours later, I went back in and when I walked back in, this woman stood up and said, Kadma Beshari, my maiden name. I'm gonna stand up. I'd like to shake your hand and tell you we are giving you a full scholarship to this college. And so 1988 was the year that the old KEDMA died, and the new KEDMA was born, which is why I wear the cape. And so I have been on that journey for over 30 years. That's why it's so significant for me.

Melody [: 00:22:33

Why do you think that you took action? There are people who and it I never want to make it sound like anybody could just be us. I think I've learned that not everybody can do things like that, like walk away or make choices like that. But why do you think that you were able to do that?

Kedma Ough [: 00:22:51

There's a couple of things. The first is and I can't speak to anyone else's journey. But at that moment where I was making that decision, I had asked God to show up for years and God never showed up. God never in my mind rescued us. And so, what I had to decide was, was this gonna be real for me? And for me at that point of my life, death was easier. And it's a very hard conversation to have because people who have dealt with family members who have taken their life will get angry that it was selfish. I would just tell you as someone who has been there and has walked the bridge and has walked the bridge and said, this is how the game is gonna play, that you have nothing left. You have to believe in something, And that was what I was wanting to believe in.

Kedma Ough [: 00:23:45

I wanted to believe that something existed and that I was not born to live a life of terror and trauma. And so, that's very hard place Because the alternative was, if it had not happened, we wouldn't be having this conversation today.

Melody [: 00:24:04

Yeah. You know, when I was 18, I was hospitalized 3 times, not similar situation, but similar. Right. And I think, again, I had to make a choice at a certain point. And obviously, I chose life. But at that time, it felt very I can only describe it as gray, just dark. I could not see forward. I could not see that there would be anything good.

Melody [: 00:24:29

I just had to believe in something. So I really resonate with that. And I'm sure there's actually a lot of people who can resonate with that. How did you become the superhero though, though that you are because you've had so many businesses you like to say that you I'm a visionary in this world. You're somebody who helps people like me to make their businesses happen in an organized fashion because people like me love chaos. How did you get from there all the way to here?

Kedma Ough [: 00:25:02

Well, I think and I I try not to bring religion in, but I think once I gave my life up to serving God, I like to say that's my boss and I have very strict key performance metrics every day. It became not about me. It became about how many people I can serve. And, you know, 30 years later, I still wake up and I say to myself, who am I gonna serve today? I don't necessarily know who I'm gonna serve, but I do need to do that because that's my commitment, that's my oxygen. So how did I become that? I think it's because I helped 1,000 upon 1,000 upon 1,000. I mean, I talk about 10,000, but I think we're probably close to 15 or 20,000 now, if not more. Entrepreneurs find their way to whatever their journey is for freedom. A lot of times it's financial freedom, but sometimes it's just finding their pathway.

Kedma Ough [: 00:26:00

And, as a strong integrator, I would say you don't need to spend a few months with me or a few years, spend an hour, Spend an hour. That's all I need. Give me an hour of your time.

Melody [: 00:26:10

You're a quick problem solver.

Kedma Ough [: 00:26:12

I'm a very quick problem solver.

Melody [: 00:26:13

I mean, I think I've learned a lot from you in that way, and I'm definitely inspired to be a quicker problem solver. I still get stuck in my head, but you ask the right questions too, which makes the answer obvious often.

Kedma Ough [: 00:26:27

And I think I do lean in even though I'm trained as with my MBA. I am a coach whisperer. I'll lean into intuitive knowledge. So Mhmm. You know, 2 weeks ago, a business owner came to me very successful, but is struggling with their employees because their employees either, you know, don't follow the rules or there's a lot of culture issues. And as he's speaking to me, the first thing I asked him was, okay, I heard you, I relate it back and I said, now tell me the trauma you suffered as a child. And right there in less than an hour, he told me everything I needed to know. And I said, exactly.

Kedma Ough [: 00:27:05

So now you're repeating the same trauma over and over and over again. You have to resolve it.

Melody [: 00:27:11

It's interesting because home service, as we know, is what 99% men, I think. Yes. And I say that a lot of the people who there's definitely trauma in most people in home service, whether it's childhood or school. In my own story, I didn't do well in school. I was super smart, but it's hard when you're really smart. You know you're smart, but the world that you're living is saying you're not. And so you get a chip on your shoulder and and you start to think like, I'm gonna show the world that I'm smart. And the best way to do that is to start a business.

Melody [: 00:27:45

A lot of the trades are low barrier to entry or they'll go to, you know, to trade school. And the thing that doesn't happen is the growth of your emotional intelligence and emotional awareness. Some of those things that maybe came more naturally to me, because I've been on that journey since I was 18 to understand myself, my brain, my experience, my trauma, all those things. A lot of guys don't sit in experience, my trauma, all those things. A lot of guys don't sit in it that way or they don't see it. I'm noticing more and more that it's becoming more common, but it makes it really hard for as an industry. I don't know, maybe there's a lot of industries like that, but that one has been harder for me because I recognize it and I also see that a lot of people don't.

Kedma Ough [: 00:28:27

I could speak for myself and what we've done in Conquer. We're changing the industry one coach at a time. So to get into our program right now, you have to do about 2,500,000 in revenue as a coach. Right? But what we do in order to graduate the coaching program, it's not just tactical documents. You have to navigate and share your story. And I could tell you right now that the stories that I've been privy to are so difficult. Males more and females, but we don't have too many females to your point, mostly males. And in the discovery of their story, they heal.

Melody [: 00:29:06

Yeah.

Kedma Ough [: 00:29:06

And then once they heal, they can actually help heal others. So someone has to be the 1st to be bravest to do it. That's how it works. The bravery is not in, hey, I'm gonna brag about my multimillion dollar company. The bravery is how quickly can I share who I really am with a stranger?

Melody [: 00:29:25

Well, and that's hard. It's really, I think, in most business worlds, and the reason I started this podcast is because the authenticity is often not there at the highest levels in the leadership levels of business. And so we are following people who don't have their shit together sometimes, or don't know who they are, but they speak really loudly and confidently. And so I just really want to encourage people like me who had to figure out, you know, on my own journey, Oh, I can just be me, and my people are they weren't where I was necessarily. And there are definitely misfits in or, you know, business misfits in home service all over the place, but they're not the norm. Like my people that I connect with, I know who they are pretty quickly. But I think the community that you build around you is the thing that's going to elevate you and and give you more impact. And that's, I think, kind of what we all wanna do.

Kedma Ough [: 00:30:22

Let me give your your listeners a definition in my mind that speaks to authenticity. So you can't wake up tomorrow and say I'm authentic. It doesn't work like that. You can't say you're authentic. Someone has to say it. And you can't be authentic without having 2 things. You need trust and transparency, street cred. What does that mean? That means over a set period of time, across a set period of experiences, you must show the same pattern of trust and transparency and that can happen through your social media.

Kedma Ough [: 00:30:58

It could happen through the stories. It could happen through the testimonials. But if I would invite you, if you want to even look at my linked in reviews, I think I have over a 100, you will start seeing a pattern over and over and over again that represents authenticity because that's decades of what? Consistent trust and transparency. You can't wake up and just be authentic.

Melody [: 00:31:21

I mean, I can.

Kedma Ough [: 00:31:22

Well, you can because you probably

Melody [: 00:31:24

but people can't do that because They can't know.

Kedma Ough [: 00:31:26

We'll we'll know. Yeah. Right? We're good at sniffing people out.

Melody [: 00:31:30

We do know.

Kedma Ough [: 00:31:31

Yeah. We know. I think the best thing I would also say is find out what people are saying when you're not in the room. I always say that. Find out what people are saying when you're not in the room because that's gonna tell you everything you need to know about that person.

Melody [: 00:31:45

Yeah. That's so interesting. Everybody who knows me, tell me what you say about me when I'm not in the room. Okay?

Kedma Ough [: 00:31:51

Seriously. Because that's gonna give you the insight as an example, unannounced. What I love is when I get an unannounced review from one of my employees that I didn't ask for. And they leave this review and I think, wow, I'm doing the right thing.

Melody [: 00:32:08

I keep all of the little notes that my employees have ever written me. It means so much to me because I work as a business owner or as a leader. We work so hard when we care about people. We invest a lot in them. And so even just those little things, those little notes or reviews, it means so much more than they could ever imagine.

Kedma Ough [: 00:32:31

Exactly. Look, I'm not gonna disagree with you. There is a lot of shadiness in any industry.

Melody [: 00:32:37

Yeah. That's true.

Kedma Ough [: 00:32:38

But you know what? People can figure that fast. I just wanna read this thing from one of my employees. I've had the privilege of working with Superb Maids and I can honestly say this is the best company I've ever been a part of. Even when I work remotely, I never feel disconnected. I'm treated like a family, not just a worker. The culture here reflects the values and mission set by the CEO who leads with integrity and a caring spirit. And then she actually called out our clean values, which stands for caring, learning, exceed expectations, always simplify notice details.

Melody [: 00:33:11

That's awesome, Kedma. And that wasn't easy for you to get there.

Kedma Ough [: 00:33:16

Oh, my lawn. It's 1 year.

Melody [: 00:33:19

That's amazing. Kedma, for all of the things that she's ever done, she decided to start a cleaning company randomly.

Kedma Ough [: 00:33:26

Well, it's actually not random. It goes back to my trauma. I don't know if you know that. So people said, why cleaning? I go, because when I was a little girl, I couldn't control my environment. But you know what I could control? How clean my room was.

Melody [: 00:33:41

That makes sense.

Kedma Ough [: 00:33:42

And so my mind said, if I clean my room and make it perfect, I can control. That's what it was. So my room was always so clean and that was what created a little bit of like foundational safety for me.

Melody [: 00:33:57

Yeah, I think as a sparkly brained ADHD lady, I can say that when I have a clean space around me, because everything is visual noise to me, so having that clean space makes all the difference for my brain, but it only lasts like one moment in time.

Kedma Ough [: 00:34:14

Right. Actually, it's scientifically proven. So we do a lot around reducing cortisol levels, increasing your dopamine. Our cleaning company's major focus and niche is actually we're an extension of your mental health. Yeah. Think about it. You're doing your vitamins, you're going to the gym, you're going to therapy, and then you come into an environment that's chaos. Why would you do that to yourself?

Melody [: 00:34:35

Yeah. That's true.

Kedma Ough [: 00:34:36

So we make a point on training all of our staff that we are an extension to people's mental health, and it just shifts how people think about our cleaning.

Melody [: 00:34:45

Perfect. Yeah. And you know what? I'm lucky because my mother-in-law comes in once a week now and cleans for me. So I'm so grateful because I have no time for that. I wanna ask you about a time that you failed, because I think it's really important. I mean, I mean, failed in maybe a funny way or doesn't have to be like a traumatic way necessarily. It could be any way. But I think it's really important for us to normalize failures.

Melody [: 00:35:13

I feel like people don't talk about them enough.

Kedma Ough [: 00:35:17

I think the most painful failure for me was when I was betrayed by another woman.

Melody [: 00:35:22

Mhmm.

Kedma Ough [: 00:35:23

That's a really hard statement to say. When I was younger, I have 3 beautiful boys, but they were all in succession. Like, every 3 years, I decided to give a child up, you know, to like, oh, yeah. I have a baby. And when you had 3 kids that were around the early daycare age, it gets very expensive. You know? I mean, one baby is like a $1,000 if you go to a right daycare. So I decided that I was gonna create my own daycare. And so I did.

Kedma Ough [: 00:35:50

We had a a home we owned that we didn't really use, and so I transformed it, got certified as a certified day care in our community. And we were, French immersion, so the kids came in and got to speak French, and I had a French teacher. And then I hired a day care director because I was working somewhere else, and it was my way of giving back. And I also wanted to work with kids that were coming through the system because I said, you know what? They should have the same privilege as anyone else. So at the time when I hired the daycare director, I gave her a very good salary wage and I also paid for her place because I'm very generous.

Melody [: 00:36:31

Yes, you are.

Kedma Ough [: 00:36:32

Unbeknownst to me, about 6 months into the business, we started seeing that cash flow was very low and I couldn't understand why. And I would go to her and I would say, what's going on with the agency funds because we're funding all these kids and the agency has not paid us yet. And she would say, you know, they're behind. And I'm like, okay, but something like we have to get it done. And I waited another month and then another month and I had this crazy suspicion. So I actually called the agency saying I was her because I couldn't get access and come to find out all the money that the agency gave us was sent to her in her name. Mhmm. So she embezzled $50,000.

Kedma Ough [: 00:37:18

And when I went to try to recoup it, I was told by the agency that, legally, I couldn't do it because her signature was on the account and she legally gets all the money. It was so traumatic to our daycare that we had to shut it down. And I remember calling every parent sobbing, like my eyes out and so apologetic that I had failed and I think it took me probably 3 years to recover from that trauma. And she got away with it.

Melody [: 00:37:50

Yeah. I'm such a law and order person when it comes to things. I trust everybody. You get hurt really deeply sometimes, but I don't like it when people get away with things. So I didn't even know that you start see, this is the weird other thing about misfits is that we do a bazillion things. We just randomly come up in a 2 minute part of the conversation like, oh, I just started a French immersion daycare for people in the system and their children. I believe you. I know you did.

Kedma Ough [: 00:38:17

Yeah. Harmony daycare. Harmony daycare. Mhmm. I thought you knew that.

Melody [: 00:38:22

Oh, wow. Yeah. I didn't know if I did or didn't.

Kedma Ough [: 00:38:23

Yeah. I don't talk about it too much except when you mentioned, like, what's a failure. That one really hurt me.

Melody [: 00:38:29

Yeah. So it's just interesting because I feel like a lot of people I have those kinds of conversations when they're like, oh, the time that I did this thing or when I was it just we have so many different lives. Well, I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm sure something was learned from it because now you're super detailed with money, and you teach people.

Kedma Ough [: 00:38:49

I'm very detailed with money. I like to do check and balances. I hate that one bad person makes it bad for everyone and but I do try to trust people, but now I trust and verify.

Melody [: 00:39:01

Yeah. That's a good philosophy that I am always learning

Kedma Ough [: 00:39:05

Yeah.

Melody [: 00:39:06

To do every day as you know.

Kedma Ough [: 00:39:09

Yeah. Of course.

Melody [: 00:39:10

I'm an optimist with a bad memory, so it's always, you know, something I have to keep forefront of mind. Okay. Last thing, which is my favorite thing. Listen, you're very black and white in some things, so I'm gonna ask you some questions. You have to choose 1 for fun. Doesn't have to be who you are, but they're just either or questions. I think it'll be easy for you. Okay.

Melody [: 00:39:34

Early bird or night owl?

Kedma Ough [: 00:39:37

Night.

Melody [: 00:39:38

Introvert or extrovert? Introvert. More time or more money? More time. Type A or type ADD? Type A. Saver or spender?

Kedma Ough [: 00:39:52

I'm definitely a saver.

Melody [: 00:39:53

Workaholic or recovering workaholic? Workaholic. Mhmm. Or adventure or relaxing? Adventure. Things or experiences?

Kedma Ough [: 00:40:05

It's gotta be experience.

Melody [: 00:40:07

Phone call or text?

Kedma Ough [: 00:40:09

Definitely text.

Melody [: 00:40:10

Plan ahead or go with the flow?

Kedma Ough [: 00:40:13

Go with the flow.

Melody [: 00:40:15

Hands on or delegate? Delegate. Compete or collaborate?

Kedma Ough [: 00:40:21

Compete.

Melody [: 00:40:22

Sweet or savory? Savory. Quick thinker or over thinker? Quick. My god. You are quick. You're the only person who has ever finished that. You did it in a minute. You

Kedma Ough [: 00:40:34

win. Oh, how many did I have? I mean, how much time did I have left?

Melody [: 00:40:38

You had 56 seconds left. Oh. You did really good. Now I know that it's possible to get through those questions without overthinking them all. You know what it is? I've had probably people like me overthinkers on so far. So

Kedma Ough [: 00:40:53

I think you should also do a fun one, like, especially for the season, if you're gonna do some in October, like pumpkin pie or

Melody [: 00:41:00

That's a good one. I will add those to my list. So what is it? Is it pumpkin pie or A what? Candy bar?

Kedma Ough [: 00:41:07

No. Definitely pumpkin pie. Okay. Come on. Pumpkin pie with the whipped cream and

Melody [: 00:41:13

Yeah. It's pretty good. Right?

Kedma Ough [: 00:41:14

If you've done right, homemade.

Melody [: 00:41:16

Yeah. Yeah. No. It does have to be homemade. I actually like pumpkin rolls.

Kedma Ough [: 00:41:20

Yeah. And then the other thing is, like, place you would love to visit, and I would pick, like, polar opposites, Ireland or South Africa or Ireland. That's a good one too. Yeah. I feel like that is a question

Melody [: 00:41:27

that people will get stuck on because they have to figure out where those places are first of all. Oh, okay. Okay.

Kedma Ough [: 00:41:39

Well, you can have a fun you could say like Europe or Antarctica.

Melody [: 00:41:43

That's Europe. Yeah.

Kedma Ough [: 00:41:44

It's Europe for you? Okay.

Melody [: 00:41:46

Yes. Yeah. I'm okay with not going to Antarctica for now because

Kedma Ough [: 00:41:49

Well, I know this is I'm gonna ask you one question.

Melody [: 00:41:53

Okay.

Kedma Ough [: 00:41:54

If that's okay.

Melody [: 00:41:55

Please.

Kedma Ough [: 00:41:55

Yeah. So I guess my question is, what is the most surprising lesson you've learned in life?

Melody [: 00:42:03

This has been surprising to me, but also not surprising. So when I started on this journey of I was just thinking, so Mike Michalowicz is one of my favorite authors. He wrote Profit First, Pumpkin Plan, all these books that kinda changed my entrepreneurial life. And I got to hang out with him this week, and I did crafts with him, which was like highlight of my life to do crafts with somebody I admire. And I was wondering, I keep getting in these situations where I'm in rooms with people that I probably would have dreamed about being in, but how did I get in those situations? And when I look back, when I started my journey of growth and development and trying to become the leader that I feel like I need to be, the transformer, it's been like baby steps, putting myself into uncomfortable places that I don't feel like I belong, and then going there anyway. And I mean, like, joining Conker for instance, or even just in my business journey, sometimes even before Conker, I would go to an event just to meet people. I I didn't quite ever fit in, but I would do it anyway. And I don't like doing that.

Melody [: 00:43:08

I'm like an introvert in some ways, but I would like force myself. And so it gets easier as I've gone. And what surprised me is that I think that's I've always wondered how do people get way up here? It's just like little steps. Little steps. It's grit.

Kedma Ough [: 00:43:26

That's all it is.

Melody [: 00:43:27

Yeah. So that surprised me. I was hoping it was true, and I'm learning that it is. And I do think anybody who works on their mindset, who has a growth mindset, who wants something bigger in their life, if they just are willing to it takes a long time sometimes to just keep pushing forward little by little. I think it's worth it.

Kedma Ough [: 00:43:48

Yeah. And I think I think it's great. And then also selectively choosing the rooms you wanna hang out in. Just think about it's a a school, and you've been hanging out in the library, but now you wanna go to another room, like you're gonna go to the math room. And then they walk into the math room and Mike's there, like, hi. So Right. Like, so if you think about the school grounds, stop hanging out in the same room. Just open the door and go to a different room.

Melody [: 00:44:12

Yeah. Oh, and one more thing I will say to people is every time I go to one of these events, I remember the first conquer summit, I was so terrified. I didn't know anybody, and I felt like less than I had my imposter syndrome. But I made a commitment to talk to as many people as I could because I figured, like, everybody feels that way. And I've kind of just learned that, like, people are not in my head, I'd be like, they're not gonna talk to me, but people wanna be seen, and they wanna know people. They want community and connection. And so that's pretty much how I've built my community is just making people be my friends.

Kedma Ough [: 00:44:51

Well, it's not hard.

Melody [: 00:44:53

Oh, well, thank you, Kedma. This has been so fun. I learned a lot about you that I thought I knew, but I didn't know. And I think you're gonna you really are a world changer. You've changed my life. You've changed so many lives, and I'm lucky to have you in mind. So thank you.

Kedma Ough [: 00:45:11

I feel the same. Well, as you continue on this journey, maybe I'll come and visit a year from now, see how things have changed in a year.

Melody [: 00:45:18

You're always welcome anytime. Okay. Thank you, Kedma.

Kedma Ough [: 00:45:22

Thank you.

Melody [: 00:45:24

Listen, Bisfit. If you believe in the mission of this podcast, I need you to like and subscribe right now. Pause this, go find the podcast you might already be there which is easy just go like and subscribe. And if you really really believe in it and you want BizFit to unite and change the whole business world please rate it. Rating is the best way to get the word out to attract more like minded misfits like you and me so that we can overthrow the takers of this world who currently dominate the business universe. Now I know I sound like I'm some courageous lady of business. I am not. I can't do this alone, and I don't want to.

Melody [: 00:45:59

I need you, and we need a coalition of fellow BizFits. So do it now. The quicker we take action, the quicker we can change our business world. Now let's go do great things and I will see you next week.