Mindset Reset

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Hello, BizFit.

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It is I, Melody, your lady of business.

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I'm going to talk about something I find

very counterintuitive and it's something

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I'm actively exploring this year.

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It's how the key to growth might actually

be unlearning, not learning more.

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recently I attended an AI conference

and after that conference, my

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brain shut down for like a week.

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my brain was so oversaturated with

information, that it got me to a

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surprising yet not surprising realization.

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I'm an information hoarder.

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I've spent most of my life on learning

autopilot thinking that if I kept

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growing, kept pushing forward, I'd

eventually break through My old mindsets.

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But what if that's exactly

what's keeping me stuck.

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you know, that feeling when you're

scrolling through Amazon self help

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section, you think maybe this book will

be the one that changes everything.

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My audible library is a monument of self.

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Improvement and every title is

like a tower of transformation

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that I'm trying to build.

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I have courses on everything from

marketing to mindset and breaking

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habits and building new ones.

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And you want to know the crazy thing with

all of that knowledge, all of that wisdom

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at my fingertips, I am stuck because that

new knowledge, it's sitting on top of my

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old, deep, Unconscious beliefs, and I've

finally reached the point of understanding

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that more information isn't the answer.

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It's actually just exhausting.

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I'm, just like everybody else.

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I'm highlighting quotes and saving

posts that I never go back to.

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I learned so much that

I can't possibly ever.

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Implement, we're filtering our

information based on our beliefs, our

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values, our assessment of the person

who's giving us the information.

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Work, family, social

media, podcasts, news.

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But here's what I keep wondering.

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How do I know which pieces of

information are actually meant for me?

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Sometimes the most profound advice

or wisdom can be completely wrong,

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for where you are in your journey.

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it's like being handed a map to Paris when

you're actually traveling in New York.

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The map is not wrong.

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It's just not meant for you.

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And where you are right now.

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we collect all the maps, thinking

someday that they'll make sense.

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someday maybe we'll need them, but maybe

what we need isn't just another map.

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Maybe we need to stop and

figure out where we are.

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So I'm stopping to figure out where I am.

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I'm on A mind excavation journey,

because I believe that even though it's

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the hardest work that I will probably

do, I think it's the best thing that

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I can do, which is questioning what

I've always thought that I've known.

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And that's really scary, because

it's challenging my beliefs.

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It's uncertainty.

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I believe though, that my freedom

is going to come when I consciously

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choose what to keep and what to let go.

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we have a lot of resistance in ourselves.

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And I think that resistance is

the roadmap to show us exactly

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what we need to be looking at.

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So here's some steps that are important

if you want to go on this journey with me.

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You have to be aware.

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That's the first step.

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Every time you feel that

resistance, that's the roadmap.

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So you have to be looking for it.

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And then you should ask

yourself a simple question.

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Where did I learn this?

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who taught me this is

this actually my truth?

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Or is it something I

learned from somebody else?

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Is it somebody else's beliefs?

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Just start to notice all the

ways that shows up in your life

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So let me share a tool that's

pretty powerful, I think, because

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it's so simple and it's very

helpful in the unlearning process.

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It's the five Y's Here's how it works.

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When you find that you have a

belief that's limiting you just

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ask yourself why five times.

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And then each time the answer is

going to lead you to a deeper layer.

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So I'm going to give you an example.

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This is something I hear

from people all the time.

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I could never start my own business.

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So let's look at that.

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Well, why?

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Well, because I'm not the

type of person who does that.

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So that's the little boxes that

we put ourselves in, right?

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And then I could ask, well, why

aren't you that type of person?

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Well, because successful business

owners want to, you know, they

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they're naturally confident.

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They went to business

school, they're organized.

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well, why do you believe that?

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because every entrepreneur I know

seems to have it all figured out.

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Why does that even matter?

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Well, because I don't feel

like I have it all figured out.

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So I won't be good at it

and I don't want to fail.

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that gap between who we think

we need to be and who we are

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right now is very powerful,

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Why do I believe I need to

have it all figured out first?

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Well, because I was taught that you

should only do things when you're

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completely prepared and certain.

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obviously it's not like you

ask five questions and then

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suddenly you have an epiphany.

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But if you actually took the time and

really thought it out, maybe journaled

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it out, you'd be surprised at what

comes out when you do a little thinking.

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But also thinking is hard.

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And we like to distract from that.

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I'm very guilty of that every day,

but you know, that's where you're

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going to find your core belief, that

you might not have recognized before.

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So let me give you a quick practical

exercise that you can do right now.

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You can just use your phone.

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Just write down or think of two or

three things that you can never do

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perhaps it's public speaking or karaoke

or starting a podcast, asking for

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a raise, building a house, holding

a snake like I did in December.

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think about the ones that you chose.

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Well, who.

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Told you that you couldn't do it.

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Was it society?

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Was it your parents?

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And then after you've thought of that, ask

yourself one last question, which is if no

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one had ever told me this, would I believe

it, it's such a simple question, but how

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many of us are brave enough to really dig

deep into ourselves to find the answer,

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not many, because here's the truth, as

I've gone on this journey in the past.

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It's left a lot of space.

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And for me, space is very

uncomfortable We all want control.

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I decided that unlearn was going to

be my word of: 2025

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to stay at the forefront of my mind.

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I've been doing, ketamine therapy in the

past year and it's really changed my life.

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I don't do it often, but I'm, shocked

at how quickly it's broken through

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barriers in my brain that I have worked

on for years in traditional therapy.

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the last time that I did it, or two

times ago, was my greatest, breakthrough.

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in that session, you go deep

in your brain and you're not in

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fear of what you're going to see.

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You're not in fear of the answers.

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You're just curious, or at

least I am in these sessions.

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I'm just curious.

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I don't feel scared.

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And I'm just investigating.

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I went into that session with the

intention of understanding confidence.

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Why don't I have confidence?

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How can I get confidence?

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by the end of that, I understood

that I already knew everything

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that I needed to know.

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I will never know all the things in

my Subconscious mind, I thought that

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I would somehow learn everything in

the entire universe and then I could

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feel confident, which is ridiculous.

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It's what I was struggling with but

it's what I want I want to trust my gut.

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I've earned that.

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on that, ketamine journey, it was,

Kind of understanding that the wisdom

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I have right now is exactly what I

need I think it's the same for all of

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us, what we know right now, if we're

growth minded, trying to become the

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best versions of ourselves, it's what

I've been thinking about a lot lately.

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But I, feel like I need to pause

the learning and just do some,

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you know, focused un learning.

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I don't know, we'll see at the end

of the year if this word of the year

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brings me to where I want to be.

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ironically, last year, my word of

the year was confidence and I did.

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End up with confidence.

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I don't think it was on purpose because

I kind of forgot my word of the year

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halfway through, but when I looked

back at my journal, there it was.

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some would say I manifested it.

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Others would say I

worked hard to get there.

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either way, it was exciting for me

to finally feel like I had settled

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that long, fight in my mind.

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In December, I was in the

Philippines with my team, and we

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ended up at this animal reserve.

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I didn't know that this was a

place where I was going to walk

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in and be surrounded by pythons.

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I'm terrified of snakes.

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I really am.

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It's one of my biggest fears.

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I think a snake ran over my foot when

I was in second or third grade, so

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being in that room where there were

pythons on the floor, It was terrifying.

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My heart was beating.

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My palms were sweaty.

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I was practically crying.

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Everything felt just

like a fight or flight.

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I was in fight or flight mode.

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But my whole team, was there with me.

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I made a spur of the moment

commitment that I was going to

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chase that fear a little bit.

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so I went and I sat down and I held a

snake it was hilarious because if you

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look at the photos of me, I'm crying,

because I hated it so much, but also

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I was thrilled that I did it because

every time I do something like that.

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something that's like this deep held

belief that I am terrified of snakes.

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And then I faced that fear.

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it leads me to places that I never

would have imagined I'm still afraid

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of snakes though, but maybe next time

I'll hold a Python again, And I won't

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be as terrified anyway, do something

that scares you a little bit this week.

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you have to think what's

the worst that can happen.

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There's really not a lot of

things that can happen to us.

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our minds convince us that there are.

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And I think most of those are

just fear of failure, fear of

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embarrassment or humiliation.

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Sometimes it's fear of success.

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There's so many things that limit us

fear of being seen as overconfident or

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aggressive, take a little bit of a step.

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Outside of your fear or poke the

fear that's what I'm going to do.

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I'm already poking the fear.

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What is your word of the year?

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And what are you afraid of?

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what are the things that

you need to unlearn?

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you know, remember every

belief that we unlearn.

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Create space for something new,

something that's authentically,

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genuinely going to be yours.

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I hope this was helpful.

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Keep questioning, keep unlearning and

growing, and I will see you next week.